Colder Than a Witch's Teat (No Disrespect Meant)

With the temperature outside this AM around zero and wind chill less than that, what came to mind is that it’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra. Wondering about the derivation of this phrase, I went to the Googles, as our departing W would say, and found an essay that purports to show an empirical study regarding the heat/cold of witches’ tits:

http://www.gettingit.com/article/663

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- A new study, conducted by researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, has found the heat capacity of witches' tits to be significantly higher than previously believed.

"For years, the public has assumed that the breasts of witches maintain temperatures at or around the freezing point of water," said team leader Phillip McCracken in a telephone interview. "Through a series of revolutionary experiments, we have been able to determine that they actually achieve an average temperature of 72 degrees Fahrenheit."

The researchers do not currently understand why witches' tits -- while certainly warmer than expected -- are nearly 27 degrees cooler than the tits of normal humans.

"Unfortunately, theory behind the thermodynamics of thaumaturgic mammaries is sadly under-investigated," added McCracken.

Magdalena Chancerly, the president of the National Organization of Wiccans in Salem, received the news of the scientists' findings with enthusiasm. "You can only hear 'cold as a witch's tit' so many times before becoming offended. I, for one, am glad to have my breasts associated with the comfortable climate of spring instead of the chill of winter."




Also, the phrase “in a brass bra” does not seem to be found in erudite references. There is a good vulgar cliché site, though. And it includes things like:

Colder than a three-legged cat trying to bury $#@% on a frozen pond.
Colder than a bucket of penguin %$#@.
Colder than the hairs of a polar bear's ass.

Given how freaking cold it is today and tomorrow, just thought you’d like to know.