"What do you do?"

It’s a common question others ask. There are the matter-of-fact answers regarding your job (if you have one) or some other description like “homemaker” (pardon the expression) or “retired.” However, if you get beyond what might be filled in on a questionnaire that relates to occupation and you still wanted to keep it short and sweet, what would you say?

I asked this on Facebook and have the following responses through today:

I work at the university
I'm a semi-retired supernatural entity living in Boca on a fixed income...
I am a professional hockey player. (from my rabbi)
making poetry with pottery! (from a ceramic artist)
I drive as many people crazy as I can!
Answering other people who ask "What do you do?"
I do the best I can with what I have.

I’ve only identified the “profession” of a couple of the above. For me, I can say, so far:

I pick brambles from my horses’ tails.
I watch sunsets over the pasture.
I stand and eat cereal watching “Today.”
I fart and snore.
I read the NYT in bed.
I fall asleep with my glasses on.
I say the obvious.
I scratch my dogs’ ears.
I eat lunch with my sister.
I pick fresh raspberries all summer and fall.
I cry easily.
I cause people to either laugh or wince.
I attend meetings.
I spread manure.
I roast asparagus.
I harbor venal thoughts.
I play with numbers.
I take pictures of food.

And what will you add to this list?